The Lies We Tell Ourselves

Often times we find ourselves saying negative things about ourselves.  A simple example, you may make a mistake and say, 'I'm so stupid'.  Or in a more serious case we may say, 'I am such a screw up, I can't do anything right, I'll never amount to anything.'  No matter how 'minor' or severe, the things we tell ourselves are implanted in our brains and in some cases we start to believe them, whether or not they are true. DISCLAIMER:  They are usually false

 Suffering from anxiety, depression, and an eating disorder my lies became my truths.  I have a doom or gloom mindset; I think life is never going to get better, so why is it worth living; I am forgettable; I'm fat, ugly, worthless etc.

So, what happens when these so called truths become challenged by those around us?

 Today was my final day in Intensive Outpatient treatment, and before you bid farewell the other patients and staff take the time to say nice things about the departing patient...so that meant I was next in line...JOY :/  How could people who knew me for about a month possibly have anything to say about me, let alone even know me well enough to say something.

Well, I was wrong.

 I was overwhelmed by the things that my fellow patients had said about me. One thing that struck a cord with me was how everyone that spoke mentioned my authenticity and kind heart.  One patient even told me how she can tell real authenticity by looking in someone's eyes.  She told me my eyes held so many stories and true authenticity...WOW.  I was so overcome with emotion by everything that people said...how could they all have said such kind words to share about me and such similar affirmations?  Someone who I see as being worthless, forgettable, and in the past, better off dead.  

 This had my head spinning... To hear common themes from each patient and staff member.
ENTER PARANOIA: Clearly they must have planned this!  
ENTER WISE MIND:  But what if they didn't?  What if what they had to say was actually the truth? A truth I was hiding from.  A truth that perhaps I need to embrace in order to find my true self.

 It's hard to hear positive things about ourselves, especially when we have told ourselves such hateful 'truths' about ourselves.  

 Why do we beat ourselves up so much?  Why is it so hard to hear nice things about ourselves?  When did owning who you are become see as pompous?  

 We need to listen to others when they speak highly of us, take a compliment and be proud of who we are.  We are beautiful and unique beings. We need to embrace who we are and appreciate all aspects of ourselves including our perceived imperfections.

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