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Showing posts from October, 2018

Daze

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Addiction.  If you are not struggling with a mental illness, like addiction, of your own, you know someone who is. People are struggling all around us every day, and there is only so much help that one can provide another.  Today, I was saddened by news of a loss.  There is no need to share who, where, what or why, but the fact of the matter is we have one life to live and what we do with it is our choice.   Every day, I make a conscious choice to eat and rewire my brain that eating is okay.  Every day, she is struggling with alcohol; every day, he is sitting on his hands telling them not to type in the website he so badly needs for release; every day... One day, it may all be gone.  No more what ifs, or 'I'll only do it one more time', the list goes on and on. We are faced with making life changing decisions every day that, although they may seem minor, can truly have life altering results.  Running late in the morning, while stressful, may save you from the an acc

Crying. Shame

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Crying.  It's really the first thing we know how to do.  The second we enter the world, we cry.  Crying is a babies only way to communicate his/her needs until they can talk.  Somewhere along the way, the expressiveness of crying changes from a means of communication to being seen as weakness...any sign of emotion is weak? What a crock of crap. How many times have you seen a child fall down, bang their head, and hear the parent/caregiver say, 'Oh, you're fine.'?  I have heard that plenty of times, and I am guilty of saying it myself.  Someone once told me, if you draw attention to it they are going to think they should cry...um, looking back that's just dumb.  I mean, I understand what he said, but for us to imply that a child who falls face first on the cement is fine, we have another thing coming.   Is that where it starts?  A comment like that that makes us start to stuff our feelings?  It's so hard to be vulnerable and expressive emotionally if we aren&#

Different

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My brain is becoming mush. So here are a bunch of words.  I'm not sure if they make sense.  If they don't, sorry.  If they do, I hope you can relate...yet again I hope you can't...but I'm sure you do. Dare to be different...it's a motto I truly believe in.  Straying away from the majority, dancing to the beat of your own drum etc.  It wasn't until recently that I really feel that I am different...and sometimes different can be lonely. Can you relate?  I thought so.... I think there are times that we all feel a little out of place, trying to figure out why.  I don't think I've ever really fit in easily.  I try really hard for people to like me; sometimes I think my kindness comes off like I'm a fraud, but the fact of the matter is, I truly care about people and love so big...probably to a fault. When I was New York, I had my people, and oh my gosh how I miss you all terribly.  I had my people and I left.  We moved to North Carolina to provide