I blacked out....poetry

While I was in treatment I started making an altered book.  I didn't know what it was until going to treatment, so I will explain it here.  To create an altered book you take a book already in existence and you 'alter' it's form.  You can use magazine clippings, actual photos, and create your own artwork on the pages etc. You are doing what the name suggests, and altering the book from it's original form to a different form and adding your own unique meaning to it as well.  

I know...before you go on, you may be thinking, 'What kind of librarian would do such a horrid thing to a book?!'...my answer...ONE BAD ASS LIBRARIAN!

Two of the pages in my book I used to create a poem using the method referred to as blackout poetry. To create a blackout poem you find words on the page(s) you are using that have significance to you, or that inspire you....you then take a sharpie marker and blackout the other words on the page so you are left with only those that are meant for your poetry.  It's a great activity to express oneself and also to exhibit ones creativity. 

Below is the poem that I created using blackout poetry:

Surprisingly, I was thin and gaunt.
Sallow face, accomplishments...none.
I knew I would, sure enough get home,
Glowing, living, I had promised.

And still I hung back. 
I hid from other pain.
I indulged myself. 
I was embarrassed.
I prayed right through coffee-and-cigar hour.

With the next breath, I said,
Whenever, wherever, however,
I'll go, first step forward.
I stood up.  I stride forward.

That moment, was horror.

______________________________________

To me, this poem was about taking the appropriate steps towards recovery.  Knowing that I had promised not only myself, but my husband I would get through this..despite the fear and skepticism.

Both creating and altered book and poetry are great outlets for expression of ones emotions and creativity.  Below I've attached a few pictures from my altered book.