My mind is full

My heart  mind is full

There are tons of things I think about on a daily basis.  Some of these thoughts come to me right as I lay my head down at night. These thoughts keep me awake for much of the night. Many thoughts are irrational and out of my control in that moment. Thoughts include, but are not limited to, what will I wear tomorrow?, I have to go to the store., Did I mail the rent?, Is the garage shut?, Why can't I sleep?, etc.

Not only am I haunted by thoughts at night that nearly drive me to insomnia, but I have a bunch that haunt my every waking moment.

   Thoughts that pull me out of a conversation.
      Thoughts that make my body look present, but my mind is             a million miles away.
         Thoughts that I don't know will ever go away.

Here are a select few:
- I'm sick of following a meal plan.
- Will I ever be able to eat like 'normal' people?
- When will I be okay with myself?
- I wish I was comfortable eating out at a restaurant.
- I miss you
- I miss the old me
- Will you ever understand?
- Do you even care?
- Will I ever stop thinking about food?
- Will I ever enjoy eating again?
- When did my face get so fat?
- When did food become my enemy?
- Counting the number of proteins, grains, fats etc. I've eaten
- I'm okay....really
- I'm not

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