Dr. Seuss nails it

'Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss #nailedit

 Good ol' Dr. Seuss nails it again!  I was reading my daily devotional and this is the quote that it had as a precursor for the daily goal.  All that I can say was that this quote was absolutely perfect for my feelings yesterday. 

 We have all had to make decisions in our life both big and small.  After we've made those decsions we may dwell on the thought, 'Was that the right decision?'  Well, this is how I've been feeling a lot. After much thought I have decided to resign from my position as a Children's Librarian.  This job has had many rewards, especially seeing the joy on the children's faces during story time or at a program. I have also made some incredible friends at this job, friendships that I believe will last a lifetime. My work had a lot of rewards and also a lot of stress (as do most jobs), and having struggled with severe anxiety and panic attacks, I often found myself in tears and having a lot of negative self talk...to be fair, this is me in any job :$  Despite my difficulties with anxiety my reason for leaving is because of my eating disorder.  My stress and anxiety only enhanced my eating disorder.

 Over the past 3 years at my job I have struggled a lot with my restriction of food.  I hadn't been nourishing my body enough at work, and that led me to forgetting to do a number of things, feeling weak and irritable, and loss of motivation.  I am still in the beginning stages of recovery and I know that if I were to go back there I would relapse, and for that reason I have resigned.  

 I know that my reason for resigning is important and extremely conducive to my recovery, however, I cannot help but feel sad.  I will miss the good times I've had with my friends, the laughter, the tears, the rewards of helping children, and making a difference.  And sure, I can sit there and cry about it being over (I swear I didn't do that last night...)  but, I need to, 'smile because it happened'.  I will certainly miss out on future fun with the girls and miss sharing stories and fun with the kids, but I am forever grateful for the friendships I have made and the rewards I have received.  So, while it is time for me to end this chapter in my life, I have ready to write a new one. 

 I will try not to dwell on the fact if this was the right decision, because Tracy knows it is...It's just that bastard Ed that won't shut up about it.  Soon he will be silenced.

Comments

  1. HeatherJuly 1, 2016 at 6:09 PM

    I'm so glad you came into hcpl and made friends ;)

    ReplyDelete

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