Cheers to awesome husbands and staying strong..

A few weeks ago a friend of mine invited me to join her and a bunch of our friends to go and do zumba.  I had done zumba a few times before and remembered getting frustrated with it, but I figured why not?  So every Monday and a few other days during the week I am enjoying doing zumba both with friends and with strangers.  While I am not the best dancer in the world, I am having the time of my life each week!  I find my body feeling a healthy exhaustion, and smiling the whole time!  I have not only been having a good time and have noticed my body getting stronger...I think I'm even getting a booty!

 In addition to getting my dance on I went to the gym for the first time in months.  I was a little scared going in to the gym.  I know that I have gained weight and I was scared to see some of the people that I haven't seen since being home from treatment.  I got over that quickly when I was able to run the most that I have in a long time, and I felt great!  

 Following my run I decided to get on the scale...This was a terrible idea.  While the number wasn't surprising, it was more than the last time I saw my weight.  I immediately began to panic thinking, 'Do I just continue to gain weight?', 'How is this a maintenance plan if I'm gaining weight?', 'I'm fat, I'm disgusting...'!  I knew that this would happen, so why did I weigh myself? To be honest,  a part of me was hoping that maybe I lost weight.  Despite feeling somewhat great about myself, I realize that I still have a lot of work to go with my ED.  This truth was proven even more so when that evening I decided it would be a good idea to have ice cream...again this was a bad idea.  My ED thoughts came to the surface.  I had terrible urges and that's when...CUE AWESOME HUSBAND...Despite Stefan not sleeping the night before he stayed up late with me until my urges passed. I am truly grateful for him because had he not stayed up I know for sure I would have relapsed.  

 I need to try and remember that the number on the scale doesn't mean anything.  My body is more energized and stronger than it has been in years and I need to appreciate the work that I have done. 

 Cheers to awesome husbands and staying strong!

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