New Year. New You

How many of you make a New Years resolution and stick to it for a month and then quit? I am so guilty of this. Last year, I said I was going to write a book. I was super confident that I would do it, but when it got to be the summer and I hadn't touched it I realized it wasn't going to happen. While I do believe that there is a book somewhere inside of me, I also recognize that that resolution may have been a little too much for me for that stage of my life.

2019 posed to be a challenging one for me emotionally and socially. People that I am close to have struggled with their health, from chronic pain, to a recent cancer diagnosis. I have given a lot with some relationships and haven't received much in return. I know that I have probably left people feeling this way about me, and for that I am sorry. People come in and out of our lives and the ones that are meant to stay forever will. I ended the year feeling extremely empty and a little broken so for 2020 I am going to put myself back together again...only I don't need all the kings horses and all the kings men, all I need is myself.

The past year I continued to learn a lot about people, including myself. I learned that sometimes people don't need you as much as you need them. That I am a lot stronger than I thought I was, yet I can easily break when I take things too seriously. This year I am making a resolution for something that I really should always be doing. I am going to learn to say, 'no', more often and work on filling my own cup. I say yes to things, even when I don't necessarily want to do them because I need people to like me. Well, I cannot do this anymore, I'm tired. If someone gets "mad" at me because I am socially unavailable, I think that says a lot more about them than it does about me. When I give and give I find that I feel ragged and empty. I promise to do at least one fun thing for myself every single week. I am going to stop living for other people, and start living for myself. Too often I have done things because it 'makes me look good' and it's not what I want to do. I live for me and no one else.

If you are making a resolution, try to do something that is attainable, small goals that can turn into bigger goals. Be kind to others, and be extra kind to yourself.




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