Your words matter

Our words matter.  What we say to others has an impact; what we say to ourselves has an even bigger impact.  I have found that in my life I am always eager to make sure I am making everybody else happy.  I find myself worried most nights about interactions that I had throughout the day, ‘Did they take what I said the wrong way?’, ‘Why didn’t ___ say hi to me?’ etc.  I know many friends and acquaintances who have expressed the same anxieties. No doubt we need to be kind to others, but we cannot neglect ourselves along the way. The things that we tell ourselves on a daily basis are so important.  I’ve always heard about the power of words but I don’t think I ever truly believed the impact until recently.

Before giving birth to Giuliana, I would say everyday how healthy she was and would continue to be, I would also say how a position at a library closer to home would open up and I would get it. All of these things came to be true. Would these things have happened anyway? Sure, it’s possible, however I truly believe you can speak into yourself by saying I would interview and get the job, made me think it was already mine.

Every morning Giuliana and I start our day by speaking over it...more so I'm speaking and she's cooing in the back seat. I speak words over G, Stefan and myself. I have found that most days I feel all the things I speak to be true and my day is a lot better, and I feel a lot better about myself. Many of the things I speak are simple, others are more complex, but all are said knowing they are possible. When I speak about things I want in life, I speak as though I already have them, and man, does that feel good!

I have had people ask me how I stay so happy and positive. Honestly, it's the only way I want to be. Sure I have days when I have pity parties and don't feel the best, but 9 times out of 10 I am hopeful and happy about myself and my family, where we are and where we are going.

I have many conversations where I feel emotionally drained by the negativity I hear. Complaints about every little thing, not having enough time to do things, feeling tired etc. Life happens to us all and not everything is rainbows and butterflies, however, it's all about perspective. We all have enough time to do things, it's a question of how we prioritize that time. How many times have you woke up in the morning and said, "I'm so tired"? :Raises hand: I have, especially with a newborn, but I also believe the more you tell yourself you are something, whether it's tired, ugly, dumb etc. the more you will believe it.

I recently read, 'Girl, wash your face' by Rachel Hollis and man, did that book drop some truth bombs. It made me realize that there are still many times in my life I am telling myself lies that, if I tell myself enough, I will believe it. Something Rachel discusses is putting things off for tomorrow. She said that she didn't want to let herself down anymore...if she said she would do something she would do it. Tuesdays I get out of work at 9 pm. Last week I told myself, I'm going to the gym after work. I already miss putting Little G to bed so why not? So, the as the clock ticked closer to 9 pm I was dreading it, 'Ugh, why did I tell myself I'd go to the gym?' What did I do after work? I went to the gym. I didn't want to let myself down, or put it off until the following day....Rachel Hollis' book proposed a challenge and I accepted. It is certainly a struggle to do what you say, and stay positive, but once it becomes a daily habit it will get easier, and I am fully convinced of this.

Start each day with a positive attitude. When you feel yourself starting to negative self talk, yell 'toxic' inside your head to shake yourself out of it. When you go to workout set a goal before you go, 'I will run 3 miles' and don't stop until you hit that goal. What's your daily goal? What's your biggest dream? Speak and act as if you already have it, and see what a difference it makes.