What's wrong with being confident...or at least thinking about it.
I remember upon leaving treatment I felt liberated. When you are focusing on yourself, and only yourself for, in my case for 57 days, you are bound to discover/rediscover things about yourself. I had never been so sure of myself than I did once I got back home from Arizona. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of who I was, and with that, whatever confidence I had, had dwindled down to nothing.
At my most recent therapy session there was a brief discussion about being confident and how we are drawn to people who are confident (as long as they aren't cocky). Since that appointment, I have tried to walk a little taller and find something each day that I like about myself. Now, I have certainly had days where I simply was too preoccupied to do such tasks...aka I'm making excuses. I certainly have had 1 spare minute of the day to think about something I like about myself, I just merely didn't do it. Despite not being fully immersed in finding things to like about myself, I found new ways to challenge myself the past week, and in turn found a small amount of appreciation for myself.
I spent the past week at the beach with my in-laws, husband and baby G. As I sat with my feet in the sand and looked around I noticed all the different people and body types that were lounging, swimming, and walking along the shore. Women and men of different ages and stature, all of which looked happy. I look at these other people and think how they seem so confident and sure of themselves, while I look at my body and feel like the world is criticizing me for being in a bathing suit. That's when I stop and realize that a) No one is spending their time thinking/looking at me and b) Many of these people have things that they too are insecure about.
When did I start caring so much about what people think? After our first day on the beach I began to stop caring as much. I couldn't tell you the last time I went out in public without any makeup on. I hate how I look without it so much it would be a crime to be seen without it...even at the beach. Well, for the rest of the week I went makeup free, and while I didn't love every second of it, I also didn't worry about what others thought. Additionally, I wore a bikini. I have never felt good in a bikini, even at my thinnest weight, but there I was post baby body wearing a bikini. While I felt very uncomfortable at times, I also felt proud of how my body was able to carry and deliver a human being, so if anyone had anything to say about the parts that weren't so firm anymore, I would tell them to pound salt...Okay, I probably wouldn't say anything, but still. Finally, I overcame a fear of the water. In more recent years I became scared of the water after being pulled into a wave and fearing I would drown. I went in and floated around and enjoyed every second. It was even more of a release because I didn't have to ask Stefan every 2 seconds if my makeup was smudged.
It's important for all of us to find things that we like about ourselves and feel confident in who we are. Not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay, but it's important for us to like ourselves. I heard the analogy of comparing ourselves to flavors of ice cream. If you and I walk into an ice cream shop I may choose cookie dough, my favorite, and you may choose chocolate...we all have our favorite flavors, and while I may not be everyone's favorite flavor, I am someone's, and that's enough for me. We need to find ways to be confident in ourselves and what flavor we are. The more we accept ourselves, the more we will love ourselves. I challenge you to do something every day that scares you, or challenges you...I guarantee you it will make a difference in how you see yourself.
At my most recent therapy session there was a brief discussion about being confident and how we are drawn to people who are confident (as long as they aren't cocky). Since that appointment, I have tried to walk a little taller and find something each day that I like about myself. Now, I have certainly had days where I simply was too preoccupied to do such tasks...aka I'm making excuses. I certainly have had 1 spare minute of the day to think about something I like about myself, I just merely didn't do it. Despite not being fully immersed in finding things to like about myself, I found new ways to challenge myself the past week, and in turn found a small amount of appreciation for myself.
I spent the past week at the beach with my in-laws, husband and baby G. As I sat with my feet in the sand and looked around I noticed all the different people and body types that were lounging, swimming, and walking along the shore. Women and men of different ages and stature, all of which looked happy. I look at these other people and think how they seem so confident and sure of themselves, while I look at my body and feel like the world is criticizing me for being in a bathing suit. That's when I stop and realize that a) No one is spending their time thinking/looking at me and b) Many of these people have things that they too are insecure about.
When did I start caring so much about what people think? After our first day on the beach I began to stop caring as much. I couldn't tell you the last time I went out in public without any makeup on. I hate how I look without it so much it would be a crime to be seen without it...even at the beach. Well, for the rest of the week I went makeup free, and while I didn't love every second of it, I also didn't worry about what others thought. Additionally, I wore a bikini. I have never felt good in a bikini, even at my thinnest weight, but there I was post baby body wearing a bikini. While I felt very uncomfortable at times, I also felt proud of how my body was able to carry and deliver a human being, so if anyone had anything to say about the parts that weren't so firm anymore, I would tell them to pound salt...Okay, I probably wouldn't say anything, but still. Finally, I overcame a fear of the water. In more recent years I became scared of the water after being pulled into a wave and fearing I would drown. I went in and floated around and enjoyed every second. It was even more of a release because I didn't have to ask Stefan every 2 seconds if my makeup was smudged.
It's important for all of us to find things that we like about ourselves and feel confident in who we are. Not everyone is going to like you, and that's okay, but it's important for us to like ourselves. I heard the analogy of comparing ourselves to flavors of ice cream. If you and I walk into an ice cream shop I may choose cookie dough, my favorite, and you may choose chocolate...we all have our favorite flavors, and while I may not be everyone's favorite flavor, I am someone's, and that's enough for me. We need to find ways to be confident in ourselves and what flavor we are. The more we accept ourselves, the more we will love ourselves. I challenge you to do something every day that scares you, or challenges you...I guarantee you it will make a difference in how you see yourself.
Here's a throwback picture to after I got home from treatment, and was more confident in who I was.
Here's to getting back there soon!
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