Thief

It's the day after Christmas and I am taking down our decorations.  Typically I will wait until 'Little Christmas' on January 6th, however I am so over this year I am ready to move on.

 I have said numerous times that it just didn't feel like the holiday season this year and now Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone and I am still feeling just as empty.  I told a friend the other day that my spirit is gone, someone stole it from me, and I let it happen.

There have been a few times in my life where my kindness has been confused for flirtation.  My kindness let someone sexually harass me in the work place and not get reprimanded because the person I told was my husband, and it was five years after it happened.  I recall thinking it was my fault because maybe my dress was too short.  In the most recent of cases my kindness was taken advantage of, I was manipulated and left to question my own sense of being.

 I have been a strong advocate of being yourself and screwing what everyone does/says etc.  However, as I sit here typing this I feel a hole inside; a hole that I'm not sure how to refill it.  

 I knew this wasn't going to be a long post, because I am truly struggling for words to describe how I am feeling, but I needed to put it into the universe.  Please do whatever you can to assert yourself in tough and uncomfortable situations because I don't want you to lose your light.  Maybe you can help me find mine again.


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