#truthhurts

I've been feeling the need to write, but haven't had one solid thought.  I've been struggling lately with my depression and anxiety and some days it's really hard to get out of bed and get my shit together, but I do.  I push through and most days I feel accomplished that I did; other days not so much.  I often feel like that commercial where the person is holding up a stick with a smiley face to hide her real feelings.  You can be sure to find me with a smile and a fairly good attitude, and while I am a pretty happy person, much of that can be an act... 

 I've also been experiencing a lot of frustration in life and to be frank, I'm pissed off at so many things.

 I'm disappointed in myself.  I am often surrounded by gossip and people talking shit for no good reason.  Instead of choosing to walk away, I listen and sometimes I partake in the conversation.  You don't know what people are going through in their lives, so does talking negatively about them do something for your self esteem?  It must, and by now you must be the most confident person on earth.  

 You say you don't like someone because they don't 'try'?  Again, maybe he/she has social anxiety and doesn't know what to say to someone or how to interact.  Maybe they think they are trying really hard...Give them a break.

 I'm tired of working so hard and not being recognized for it.  
  
  I'm tired of being walked all over because you know that I will say yes or not put up a fight.
    
    You want to give me a death stare because you're not man enough to say something to my face.    
    Man up dude...got a problem with me?  Either say something to me or look the other way because  
    you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

 I want to feel like you really care how I'm doing when you ask, 'How are you'?  I don't want it to feel like an obligation.

 I'm tired of feeling unhappy and wanting to change my circumstances but not feeling motivated enough to change them.

 I am sick of feeling like I'm being judged for everything that I do.  If people really are judging me for the decisions I make, the things I wear, etc, that is more on them than on me.

 Stop asking me how 'I'm feeling'...an eating disorder isn't a fucking cold.

 I'm sick of feeling like I need to apologize for my emotions and who I am.  If you don't like me, cool...I don't need any more friends.

 Man, let me tell you, this felt good to write out.  What are some things that are frustrating you?  Have you talked to someone about it or written it down.

 It is so important for us to vent and to do it in a way that makes you feel most comfortable.  We need to release every now and then because if we don't, we can spiral into an ugly place.  

 I want to know, how are YOU?  And I'm ready to hear your truth.




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