Love your body
It's been a little while since I've posted. I've had so many thoughts flooding my mind, but nothing that I couldn't start to write about without getting writers block. I've been writing in my journal a lot to help with my anxiety and so this post is from a recent journal entry.
I recently started seeing a new therapist, something I was adamant about. I feel like I've shared my story with more than a couple, and each time I've never truly felt like I connected and found any success. In only my first two meetings with my new therapist I feel like we will make a lot more progress than I have in the past.
In my my recent session we finished up my assessment. At the end of the assessment she asked what my goals were. In no particular order I said: Self love, improved body image, having a healthy relationship with food, and to work on minimizing my people pleasing/caring so much what others think ( a constant source of anxiety ). Being that we were at the end of the session we couldn't really dive in to any of these full throttle, so for just a few minutes she challenged me to think about the function of my body while being pregnant.
Body functions was something I tried in treatment but I was never truly successful at. The goal was to take the time to look at your body for what it does and not for what it looks like. Being pregnant, she challenged me to recognize everything I am doing as a source of life for Giuliana, a.k.a. Bean. Everything I am doing, eating, exercising, drinking a lot of water, listening to my body when I need to slow down, is allowing Bean to gain weight, form her five senses, form her brain, sustain her life. She is alive and growing because I am taking care of myself....I am growing a human inside of me. She is thriving because of me....Wow! That's an intense thing to think about.
Even though I have been pregnant for over seven months, I haven't taken the time to look at my body and recognize what is really going on in there. I have been worrying so much about work and getting everything done before I leave that I haven't put enough focus on myself or Bean....the things that really matter. Life is not about being the most well liked, the best at a job, the smartest, the most prepared, the prettiest, etc. Life is, or at least should be, about doing what makes you happy, and being the person you want to be regardless of what the masses think. Being able to laugh at yourself, and not taking yourself, or others, too seriously...not taking anything for granted and being happy with what you have. We shouldn't be worrying so much. There is so much that we cannot control in this life and we need to just let it go. Harping on things will not change them, so let's not waste our energy.
I've tried to write often and meditate every day. I try to find quiet moments to just sit with my hands on my belly and focus on her movements. When I take a few moments each day to do something mindful, I find peace. When I feel myself getting caught up in the bad attitudes of others, the condescending personalities I am often surrounded with, worrying about the future, I try to take a step back, breathe and remember...I am a beautiful soul that is doing the best I can and I will continue to care for my body to make sure our daughter is getting everything she needs.
I recently started seeing a new therapist, something I was adamant about. I feel like I've shared my story with more than a couple, and each time I've never truly felt like I connected and found any success. In only my first two meetings with my new therapist I feel like we will make a lot more progress than I have in the past.
In my my recent session we finished up my assessment. At the end of the assessment she asked what my goals were. In no particular order I said: Self love, improved body image, having a healthy relationship with food, and to work on minimizing my people pleasing/caring so much what others think ( a constant source of anxiety ). Being that we were at the end of the session we couldn't really dive in to any of these full throttle, so for just a few minutes she challenged me to think about the function of my body while being pregnant.
Body functions was something I tried in treatment but I was never truly successful at. The goal was to take the time to look at your body for what it does and not for what it looks like. Being pregnant, she challenged me to recognize everything I am doing as a source of life for Giuliana, a.k.a. Bean. Everything I am doing, eating, exercising, drinking a lot of water, listening to my body when I need to slow down, is allowing Bean to gain weight, form her five senses, form her brain, sustain her life. She is alive and growing because I am taking care of myself....I am growing a human inside of me. She is thriving because of me....Wow! That's an intense thing to think about.
Even though I have been pregnant for over seven months, I haven't taken the time to look at my body and recognize what is really going on in there. I have been worrying so much about work and getting everything done before I leave that I haven't put enough focus on myself or Bean....the things that really matter. Life is not about being the most well liked, the best at a job, the smartest, the most prepared, the prettiest, etc. Life is, or at least should be, about doing what makes you happy, and being the person you want to be regardless of what the masses think. Being able to laugh at yourself, and not taking yourself, or others, too seriously...not taking anything for granted and being happy with what you have. We shouldn't be worrying so much. There is so much that we cannot control in this life and we need to just let it go. Harping on things will not change them, so let's not waste our energy.
I've tried to write often and meditate every day. I try to find quiet moments to just sit with my hands on my belly and focus on her movements. When I take a few moments each day to do something mindful, I find peace. When I feel myself getting caught up in the bad attitudes of others, the condescending personalities I am often surrounded with, worrying about the future, I try to take a step back, breathe and remember...I am a beautiful soul that is doing the best I can and I will continue to care for my body to make sure our daughter is getting everything she needs.
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